292. - Chris & Jason

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcasts. or watch on YouTube. Oh, breakfast was how long gone? It's 8 a.m. in Los Angeles. Jason, is the time different in the woods, or is it actually the same on the sundial up there in Sea Ranch? Yeah, just because of the way the trees are and the mountains. Yeah, I mean, it feels like a different time zone sometimes. You seem to be acclimating well to a slower pace of life, which is obviously my nightmare. Nothing is slower than Sea Ranch in terms of paces, as you were just saying. It's like... Truly the slowest motherfucking place I've ever been to in the world. It's so beautiful, and it's really something special. I mean, I know we talked about it when I went, but it is... We forgot, though, the listeners. I have a two-day max on something like that, but I feel like Country TJ could do this for a little longer. Am I wrong? Interesting that you bring that up, Chris. Yeah, I'm kind of in the same boat. We're doing like a three-night... thing here but before we even put the keys into the front door of the house Bay was already like you know what I don't know if three days is long enough. Maybe we can extend the trip. Which I'm okay with. There's a lot of moving pieces. No, of course. I know those Southwest flights from Burbank do get pricey. Money is not the issue here. They don't have a loyalty program for Southwest. Chris, I flew Alaska. The other Southwest. It gets much worse than Alaska.

You know that. I've been to Alaska, and it doesn't, but continue. I'm not talking about the fine state of Alaska. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And you know that there's no Delta hub at Burbank. That's true. So that's already cruel. But, you know, I was able to upgrade to the luxury class on our flight. premium seating, complimentary beverages, snacks. So you were able to have, they offered you almonds instead of peanuts, which is a very nice upgrade. That's an upgrade we can all agree is worth $100. It was to upgrade the tickets from Burbank to Santa Rosa, California, $11.99. Damn, that's... $11.99 upgrade. So that means for, I mean, there was, it was one of those flights where first class was just like every like anyone could take first class like it was like a 75 upgrade or something so like even broke hose were in first class looking down at me like oh damn i should have got this flight earlier but it's either it's like the biggest class divide of flights like even in the premium seating that i was in there was a guy sitting in front of me who was you know he looked like he was homeless or something you know like he he had no idea like how airplanes work well 11.99 like he was on a phone call the whole time so like it was it was a different 11.99 upgrade is is i mean look that that's that's that's cheaper than the trail mix i buy at air one so it's like if you if you have one if you have you know one bourbon and coke and and one bag of almonds not not organic not sprouted of course yeah then you're you're i mean you're making you're making money basically for i know that was my logic and then i got to you know i got to say like yo girl you know i'm just checking in for these flights for your little birthday weekend i just want to let you know since you are appreciated i went ahead and upgraded to the premium seating and she's like wow great i didn't know we got first class and i was like

Look, let's see the airlines. And then they would call first class boarding. She's like, is that us? And I'm like, oh. Actually, baby, go get a smart water real quick while I go talk to them because I'm trying to figure out what's going on. You go get an alkaline smart water. I will fill up my Nalgene at the complimentary spigots. Man, the lines at the spigots are long these days. I tell you what. As a guy who loves to buy two avions for every flight that cost me $12 and is obviously not great for the environment, the lines for the spigot have gotten so long that I feel like people are missing their flights. Not at Burbank. At LAX. Not at Burbank. Yeah, when you go to the Delta LAX terminal, the line, you walk by and you're like, oh, is this the line for the bathroom or the line to get into the baby changing station or the line to get into the Admiral's Lounge? You're like, no, we're just filling up our, Nalgene bottles full of Brian Laundry stickers that we got at REI. I'm like, what the fuck? I'm over water now. Do you think that some of these... Also, I've seen a lot of people in the airport recently. I can tell they're not doing this, but their gear makes it look like they're about to go climb Everest. Sure, sure. But they're clearly just going to visit their parents. And they're filling up, like, do you think that there's been some Brian Laundrie Nalgene fill-ups that have caused people to miss flights? Do you think they're not even, they're so concerned with saving the environment as they get on a giant plane that destroys the environment that they miss their flight because they can't? Do you think it's about saving money or do you think it's about saving the environment? Yeah, it is not about saving the environment whatsoever. It's all money saving and it's all like getting one over on TSA. It's like they get the satisfaction of being like, well, I know that you're not allowed to bring water onto a plane, but I can bring my empty water bottle and lug it around and then I'll be able to gain access into this special world that's only for bosses who are fucking...

goats of air travel who can like you know not pay five dollars for a water and then you kind of feel superior i want to know and this is a great man on the street thing for us to work on, is we should see what the most popular water bottle is at LAX. What brand is number one? It's definitely not Nalgene. It's definitely some shit you can get at Walmart in Modesto. Oh, like of all the reusable bottles. Yeah, what is it? Is it Clean Canteen? Is it the one with the little logo of the man with the arms out? It's just so funny because that to me is a new, it really is a new signifier of what tribe you stand with. Well, I was thinking about this just yesterday when I was on my little hike, and of course it comes as no surprise to anyone that Sea Ranch is Nalgene country. Well, because Nalgene is the triple OG, and if you get a plain one, you're trying to say that you've been in this for a while, you did vote for Bernie, your REI subscription is up to date, your Subaru is gassed up, and it does have an extra... you know holder on top for all of your camping gear and obviously a bike rack yeah actually the the house i'm staying at shout out to our friend of the show nick weidenfeld he uh he's letting us crash here but he has he has one of those vintage now jeans in the in the cupboard where you know there's no logos there's no stickers in it The only thing on it is the BPA-free little kind of sticker tag on it. That's when you know it's real OG shit. That's OG shit. And that's what you want because any of this newfangled shit. These TikTokers don't even know what BPAs are. No, they don't know what BPAs are. They think that's a filter. I'm more concerned about BPMs. That's the fucking problem. The water bottle travesty of our society. is a problem, but nothing's more of a problem than the Indie Sleaze account on Instagram, Jason. Oh, come on, bro. I'm glad that you brought up BPM because we've reached another stage of the pandemic where people are now, by choice, reliving the ugliest era in history. I liked it for about a week, and now I'm like, oh, this is turning into a look-when-I-was-hot situation. It's a look-when-I-was-hot situation.

To me, it feels way too Facebook-y. Like it's just like the only good part about Facebook that, you know, we've talked about this a bunch. You as a Facebook Zuck sympathizer and a Zuckaholic, you love Facebook. And I'm just like, no, Facebook sucks. It's terrible. It's the scourge of society, blah, blah, blah. And you're like, yeah, but you get to see all the people you went to high school with, you know, who flushed their life down the commode. And I'm like, okay, that's good. But still, you know, it's not worth it. the pros and cons that level out. So now we found a way to do that, to go down that road without having to install Facebook. Now I can just look on Indie Sleaze, all the people they tag, I'm like, I remember that fucking hoe. And then you go and you're like, oh, she got gray hair now and has like four kids and you live in Montana. There's a couple of chicks I've seen on it particularly where I'm like, You're in a lot of these pictures. I've never heard of you. You were probably only passing friends with DJ Them Jeans, the czar of the entire scene, the linchpin of the mob. It's not often I'm referred to as a czar. It feels good. And then you click on the profile and you're looking and you're like, damn, you got two kids. You live in the suburbs. It really is Facebook. It's Facebook for Cinespace. It really is. It's Facebook. I'm a little bit nostalgic, of course, and I like to think about my glory days of using cocaine and listening to bad music. The problem is, our glory days, you know, whatever, the revisionist history time frame or the timeline where... our glory days align with whatever nostalgia twinkling happens in our brain of like i need to look at old pictures of of my life whatever like that time has expired for us and now the newer generation is like what the were you guys doing i remember this like when i was like a little kid like i was a little too young to know what if he was or whatever so they look at it as like very interesting archival things and we're just like yeah that was our shitty life

It's not cool. And I think that's been happening forever as long as people have been sort of documenting things like, you know, like you see some old like skate book or some art book or some whatever thing. And like, this is what it was like back in the day. And then the young kids are like, wow, this is so crazy. You guys did it so differently back then. And then you talk to somebody who's real from that era and they're like, yeah, it fucking sucked. Look how fucking stupid it was. Yeah, it sucked. There's always going to be somebody cool out there who said, This cool shit was not cool, trust me. I mean, look, cool, fun. I mean, it's not even... It's like John Waters talking about the era versus Andy Warhol talking about the era. I want to know who... I imagine the person behind the Indy Sleaze account definitely didn't live through it and probably lives in Ireland or something. Well, no, I think you have to be that disconnected to care that much. It's just a wee project. I started in cork. They started in cork. I found all these JPEGs online. From a different era. From a different era. Can you say skeet skeet in that accent, please? He's crypto guy, Trevor. He used to be skeet skeet. He used to skeet in the club with Katy Perry. She's got a residency. It's too good. It's too good. She sings to a poo. Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone is brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot. because I can't do anything. You need some art hung? TaskRabbit. You need something put together? A cabinet? Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf? TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you. How it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture, repairs, yard work, mounting, and more.

You can search for a Tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they're doing because Taskers have assembled over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700,000 home repairs, handled 1.5 million moves, and the numbers are just going up, Jason. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive, and that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world is very good at doing and would gladly do it. in exchange for a little bit of money. So when life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app. using promo code howlong. Taskers book up faster, especially for same-day tasks. So book trusted home help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code howlong with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down. The news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire owned. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? You know, especially when it's not, you know, from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace.

Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, so do all our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world, writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly, a website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could, you know, have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools so those future graduates can find me. And, you know, I'm able to accept, quote, unquote, donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. Show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early. And we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional as your competition, if not more. So head to squarespace.com slash how long for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code how long to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Well, I'm really appreciating this. I'm also really appreciating this Adele thing because she lied and said it was COVID related and now it's come out that her delay is basically like she was having fucking meltdowns screaming at the set designer because they couldn't get it right. They just pushed it because of that, basically. Diva mode. I mean, of course she's a diva. She's too rich and famous to not be when it comes to this kind of stuff, but she has a pretty shiny reputation up until this point, so I wonder if people are going to care or even really notice this. What exactly is she doing production-wise? I mean, I was just making the Katy Perry residency joke, but she has fucking fireworks and animatronics and all that. I mean, I feel like an Adele concert is just going to be like,

do some sexy lighting, a couple of outfit changes. I don't think she's going to have fucking pyrotechnics and a LCD screen. Well, I think that's the problem. I think that's the problem, Jason. She's not going to have a singing turd and toilet like Christian artist Katie Perry. Don't come for Demi Lovato, Chris. Come on. No, Demi Lovato is the turd, actually. When you said the singing turd. I understand. No, I think the issue is that normally Adele's production is quite pared back and grown and sexy, but I think she was feeling the pressure and the glitz and glamour of Las Vegas. Oh, so she went to Vegas. She went to Las Vegas for a couple meetings with the Aria group, and they're like, yeah, we'll just go. We'll go to Katana, and then Marshmello's playing at Omnia, and she's like, I got to fucking step this shit up. God damn it. I can't have Marshmello out doing it. Marshmello, he's like, yeah, every Friday night, Marshmello kills a guy on stage. Adele's like, fuck me. Fuck me. I got to step it up. Damn, she's going to have to have LeBron come out every day. She's going to have to suck LeBron James' dick Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Those are the tougher seats to fill. Fridays, she's fine. Weekends are good. I wonder if, apparently, I saw on the internet somewhere that the merch store is still open. Because it's supposed to launch this weekend. Of course, in Vegas, it's like a full mall of Adele stuff in the Caesars. I think Caesars is where the show is. And women are in there mad and demanding answers from the employees. So Kayla, who works at the coffee mug... section of the Adele store is having to basically doing her PR work. Just putting out a lot of fire. She's all of a sudden a high-powered PR executive in Hollywood. My client has no statement at this time. Because a group of ten Karens from Indianapolis touched down because they didn't want to lose their deposit. I don't care about these uncertain times, bitch. I want to see Adele. I want to cry.

But, I mean, it's not – like I said, she rarely gets bad press. So I think this is going to – I mean, I just don't – when celebrities go on the internet and cry, there's nothing I have less patience for. No one feels sorry for you. It's just not going to happen. You can cry all you want. So she went in and cried about having to postpone her Vegas concert? Yes, because like all other... And she's like, I just wanted to do this right for you guys. It's all about you guys. Yeah, I love my fans. Because I guess the fans are that stupid. The fans believe that it's about them and not money. There's nothing that says I love my fans more than not coming to their city and posting up in Las Vegas and making you come to me. That really shows that I love my fans. It's kind of interesting because I would like to take a deeper dive as to what kind of artist somehow skirts the responsibility of having to do that. When some bands or some singers or performers or whatever... when they postpone a show for whatever it is, COVID or medical injury, sometimes it's just like, oh, here's the statement we released or like the label posted a thing on the Instagram stories or, you know, like, hey, guys, so sorry, I'm going to have to push it back, do a tweet, XO, kissy face. And then some other people, do they feel the need to do it or are they forced to do it? for some reason to do like the video live zoom confessional crying. Well, I think it, I think it goes up. I think it's based on ticket price. Okay. I think a little bit like if, if you're a, you know, cool indie artist, that's, you know, you're on fat possum and you have 10 shows booked and you got to show you got a fat possum. Speaking of Adele. You just post a tweet and you keep it moving. You reschedule and you talk to your agent and it's all good. Right. If you're Adele and you've made this big announcement and tickets are $50,000, you kind of have to go on a proper apology tour is the minimum you can do because I'm just going to guess here. I haven't looked into this. I'm going to guess here. Refunds maybe aren't available. I think because the dates are rescheduled.

that you don't get a refund. So you lose all the money you spent on your Vegas trip or you just go and then gamble your light bill away and come back even more broke than you were before and then have to go back. Right, right, right. The flights were already booked, the hotels. Yeah, that's a tricky situation. And none of these people want the refund. They want to go to the concert. They know they're going to go. Yeah. And they're going to be like, well, my kid's not going to be able to go to college this year because. Yeah. because Mama had to reschedule her trip. A weekend in Vegas to see Adele for four, for a family of four, is the cost of a full year of community college, if not more. You said tickets are $50,000. This is fucking Stanford. No, no, no, I'm kidding. Tickets aren't actually $50,000, but they're quite expensive. I saw they were being scalped for... One person was scalping a ticket for $40,000, so you're not too far off from the truth. Who would pay... That's just like... That seems insane to me. I don't think somebody has $40,000. It seems insane to spend $40,000 on a concert ticket? Yeah, you're fucking right. Unless it's like a one-on-one concert and you get a fucking fully fellated at the end of it or something. So if Oasis plays for me alone at Glastonbury and I get topped by Liam, it's worth $40,000? Well, that's the problem. You've got to split that $40,000 with the whole band. Oh, so you're saying... Solo artists you can get for $40, but band, you're looking at $200. Yeah, well, you know, Liam and Noel, they make a little bit more than Bonehead. Sure, it's a sliding scale, but Bonehead's still going to get, you know, $3,500 for a piece of head. Oh, shit. Bonehead $3,500 for some top. Yeah, Bonehead was like, I was told that I would be receiving a, quote, little 10-piece for my efforts this weekend. And they're like, oh, no, it is not a 10-piece for you to go blow at the Caesars Mall. You and Jackie will get a little 3,500-piece. But it's USD, which is actually unfortunate.

Which is unfortunately less than quid. So you're kind of, I'm sorry, Bonehead. Which is good because Bonehead has had his eye on the new MacBook Pro. He won't be able to get it fully loaded, but it's really going to make a lot of his emails and some of his stuff work. Bonehead was really upset when they got rid of the touch bar, so I'm glad that he's able to get it. He has made it no secret. The way he feels about the trackpad and the touchpad and everything. I believe that he is dabbling in electronic music now like a lot of aging Britpop legends. So hopefully the Ableton loads a little faster on the new machine. Boathead is Peter hooking right now. Yeah, he's Peter hooking with our 3500. Going back to my flight, when I was on that beautiful plane, first of all, we were sitting next to a young woman who stopped me and said, hey, I'm sorry. My group chat would not forgive me if I didn't say hi. I'm a fan of the pod. It's not cool if you were sitting next to her on the flight. It's only cool. I was technically sitting next to her because it was a smaller plane, so the rows only had two seats each. I was in 7D. She was in 7A. Let's talk about what was the vibe. The vibe of what? The interaction? No, this fan. She was a very chill chick. She's from Orange County. Her and her boyfriend live in Silver Lake. I didn't really talk to her too much. She fit the demo. It wasn't a big surprise. No, it wasn't a surprise. She was a cool professional woman of some sort. I don't really know what. I think maybe there was a fleece. We were on a Burbank to NorCal flight. Fleece was involved. Wait, what airport? Where did you say this flight? She was reading a book. Well, it's good that she was reading. I appreciate that. Yeah, she does how to read and shit. It was good. She's a good demographic. What is the... Because the flight time is like 45 minutes. It's like an hour. You're going to Santa Rosa? Is that what you said? Santa Rosa. I don't know what that is. I'm not familiar with this. Santa Rosa is where... It's the crossroads. You know the crossroads of art and tech. This is the crossroads of...

wine and marijuana oh yeah like it's wine country so like you could like it's close to napa and mendocino and all that shit but then it's also a stone's throw away to like humboldt county okay okay so you could you could share and tyler are gonna do go trimming at at ricky's fucking indica garden so you could share a a bodacious merlot with gavin newsom or you could get or you could get some some mid indica yeah but it's such a weird vibe up here because there's i was saying yesterday it's like where it's like stoners with guns it's like people like people who are like oh it's all good man like i'm just you know like hippy dippy kind of vibes but also like i keep that thing on they also have guns and they're also like probably like MAGA people. They're like MAGA stoners. It's so weird. Well, I think that's partly, I think the weapon thing is partly because they have valuable crops and the banks won't take their money. Yeah, that's right. So I think there's a little bit of like we have to protect ourselves. Yeah, there's that. And also it's just, you know, I'm out here. You know, you're out here in the cold, dark woods. I haven't seen a single police officer the entire time I've been here. Well, that's cool. I mean, let alone like a light. so you can see the road like it's you're out here if something goes down you know you're on your own brother you got to protect yourself did you did you bring your glock or did you can't fly with that i guess no no no well nick has one here i just made sure i had to check the serial i made him do a video where he kind of took it up took it apart and put it back together make sure make sure everything's all clean and we're yeah we're good so i have the I have the blicky on me. So when you guys go for a hike, just in case someone approaches you, you're able to squeeze off if the assailant... Yeah, if I'm ever, you know, like, hey, I reserved court one, you know, or something. If something goes down over at the courts, you know, I don't have to shoot anybody. All I have to do is kind of...

Lift up my PK polo shirt. And just show a little bit of that. Just a little bit of the chrome, and that'll kind of keep them moving after that. You know, it works every time. It does work every time. I heard a great gun story yesterday. Gun story, okay. Yeah, I guess this was a big story in Florida. Like, Jonah, I hung out with Jonah. from Blackbird Spyplane, and publicist of the stars, Nick Darrell, at Maru. And Jonah was like, have you heard this story? And I'm like, no. And I'm going to obviously get some of the details incorrect, but the gist of it is some sort of Republican politician in Florida driving like a big American-made SUV, swerved out of his lane and hit a Prius. And they pull over and the Republican politician is losing his fucking mind. He's like screaming and yelling. And then he just T-bones the Prius and like pushes it just because he's still pissed. And he's like screaming and yelling. And then he pulls out a fucking gun with like a scope on it and starts shooting at the guy in the Prius. What? Yeah, yeah. After the guy in the Prius was like, bro, this is too crazy. I'm going to call the cops. This is too much. He pulls out the blicky. He starts squeezing. The guy in the Prius says, Oh, you must have got me fucked up and pulled out his own gun and killed the guys. How have I not heard this news? I don't know, because I hadn't heard it either, and I don't think Nick had heard it either. And Aaron, Jonah's partner, was there. I mean, she had obviously heard it 15 times from him, which was pretty funny. A guy in a big old truck hits a guy in a little Prius. He's so pissed that the Prius was there in his way that he... revs it up t-bones him probably does not leave a note on the windshield wiper no they're in the they're in the cars like this all happens at once so close range with a scope and he's trying to shoot him a close range yeah close range and he misses and then Prius has to no scope him with a pistol shout out to my COD players but Prius

Prius was just like, oh, you thought I was a pussy because I drive electric car? You thought wrong. So do you like this liberal tale, this tale of liberal victory? I love it. I love it so much. The fact that also the guys, the Republican politician's wife was like, he's such a good man. All he wanted to do is bring people together. And there's like a story a year ago where he literally did the same thing. it's like the same story but he just didn't get killed sounds like uh sounds like little mama is not uh is not servicing my man correctly he's got a lot he's got too much road rage going too much rage but i mean that that's like the ultimate florida tale i feel like because it's just and the cops apparently the cops got there and they didn't even put the guy handcuffs they're like well yeah you right to carry that's that's the sweet yeah i mean You're not allowed to just pull your gun out and start shooting at somebody. But if somebody is trying to kill you, you have the right to defend your life. And my man got to squeeze in. That's crazy. But then it's like, oh, now because this random guy had road rage, sure, he's dead. I guess maybe it's a good thing that he's not walking the earth anymore. Now this guy's like, well, I have to go to sleep every night knowing that I killed a guy. And maybe he's stoked on that, but it might fuck him up psychologically. I mean, yeah, of course. Take it from me. Once you take your first person's life. I was about to say. It'll start kind of playing tricks with your head a little bit. I know. After Desert Storm, you were never the same. It's something I think about. Don't try to squeeze in an old joke. No, that wasn't an old joke. That was just the first war I could think of. I'm sorry. That's fine. That's fine. I'm sorry. That's not a personal attack on your extreme age. But wait, I'm sorry. We should go back. What was happening on the plane? I thought there was more on the plane. So there was a guy in front of me. He was kind of like, I don't know, he was maybe like 50 years old. But he was dressed. like a teenager in the 90s. In a cool way? In a mind-blowing way. He was basically like an Orange County Matthew McConaughey guy. What was the beach bum? Yeah, great movie. Underrated Harmony Corrine film. Great underrated film. Basically, this guy was that beach bum. Stoner dude, hair all fucked up, wearing flip-flops on an airplane, just totally out of it, drunk, stoned, all that shit.

But he was wearing head-to-toe LRG. Lifted research. So he's a white guy, like total stoner surfer white guy kind of vibe. Head-to-toe LRG, LRG sunglasses, LRG camo all over hoodie, red LRG t-shirt. Okay. I got to thinking that he was like an LRG sales rep for some tertiary markets. I was about to say, either he started LRG. Or there was a sale at LRG TJ Maxx. I'm leaning more TJ Maxx, but he was on a phone call the whole time. Speaker phone call with his white wraparound LRG shades on, kind of like a Guy Fieri style. Was he making a deal or was he talking to his chick? He was complaining to his bro, him, that he wasn't going to get paid for any of his sales for that time period, for that pay period. And he was talking to his friend who was hyping him up to be like, yeah, fuck that guy. You should tell him what's up. And then being on a conference call with his boss and telling him to fuck off. Damn. So I got to hear it all happen live in real time. Did this inspire you to give me a call and tell me to fuck off? No, no. Well, I mean, if you start playing with my pay period, my hours, my time card, all the info is in there. You can't fucking fuck with that. But he was talking to this guy, and it's on speaker. The whole plane can hear. He has no idea. He's ignorant to all of this going on. The flight attendant keeps telling him he has to stop talking on the phone. He doesn't know what's going on. I finally get a glimpse of his speaker phone, who he's talking to, and the guy he's on the call with is just a single name. No first and last name. It's just one name, and it says Rambo. No, dude. That, to me, feels very NorCal, and I don't even know that much about NorCal, but it feels appropriate, like this man was going home. No, well, that was exact, because the whole reason I knew about him, first he was sitting in front of me, and I could see his head bobbing around, because he was just, like, bumping. I don't know what he was bumping. I got a glimpse of his phone. I thought he was playing a piebald track, but that didn't make sense.

He was bopping around, and every time that would happen, the girl who is a How Long Gone listener would look at me and look at him, give me the eyes, like, you better be talking about this on the episode tomorrow kind of thing. And I was like, what do you think is up with this guy? And she was like, yeah, he definitely is going home right now. He's definitely a local. But he could also be an Orange County bro who's going up as well. I don't really know what it could be. You never know. Well, you know, this reminds me of somebody I was sitting next to on my flight back from New York. Okay. She boarded the plane extremely late, and there's a type of person you see specifically on a New York to L.A. flight where everything on their person is logo designer. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. She had the big Dior tote bag. She had a Louis Vuitton blanket in the tote bag. All of her clothes, literally every piece of clothing was designer. She had like a Louis Vuitton makeup bag out on the – everything is designer. And it makes me think that you're lying. Like when you have that much designer logo clothing, it makes me think you're poor. Well, yeah, there's no subtlety. And that happened when we – I remember when we went on tour. Uh, we were checking on that one time. There's that guy who was wearing head to toe Dior. He had like a Dior, like dog carrying case, Dior belt, Dior socks, Dior pants, backpack. Oh yeah. Dior barrette in his hair. And at a certain point you're like, you, this is either all fake or you spent your life savings on this one look. This is, yeah, this is all, this is all the money you have. This is all the money you have. But I did, I, I, I mean, I couldn't get enough. I was just like, damn, this is so much designer shit. You can barely put, But then you've got the Away rolling bag. I don't know, Chief. That's crazy. Having an Away suitcase is, at this point, like driving a car they don't make anymore. It's a Saturn. Yeah, it's a Saturn SUV. It's a Nissan Xterra. And the best part is millions of people have to deal with the Away problems.

Every day, every TSA person across the world, because of you, you have to take out the... Does your suitcase battery... That was so... Remember how short-lived that was? There was a year period where every suitcase had a battery in it. That is so fucking stupid. That is so stupid. My dogs at Toomey would never do that. That's so crazy that that was the trend. You had to charge your phone so badly. You forgot to plug your phone in. before you went to the airport and you just might need to charge it in a bag that you checked like it's with the battery that's our indie sleaze it really don't want that it really is it's so crazy that that was like a trend to me i i totally but a way speaking of trends chris yeah i love trends while i was up here did you pick up some local beans or yeah there's some local beans i forgot where it's from But, you know, when I'm on holiday up in the woods, I got the French press going, and I'm making a little... Oh, baby. The country coffee is a little warmed-over milk with some local honey just to keep the allergies at bay. It keeps it kind of nice. This is disgusting. A little something sweet on holiday, but when I was... There's two supermarkets in town, or two markets. Yeah, did you go to the cool, chic one, the one that I like? Well, we went to both. There's the Gualala Market. And then there's the surf market. And they're both on the same street across the street from each other. And it's literally like a political divide. Like we went to the surf market. The first night we got in, we ran in like five minutes to spare before they're closing and like bought like a bunch of water and whatever, you know, like things to get us through the night kind of thing. Gluten-free pizza, whatever it might have been. Desperately. And like I'm walking in. I'm like, oh, thank God you guys are open. Like we're just hoping to get like. some pre-made sandwich or whatever because there was nothing else open and we had no food or anything. And I walk in, and the first thing I see, the alcohol display is a Ghia end cap, and I'm like, oh, honey, I'm home. Honey, I'm home. I'm home. Do you guys have any granola that's $18 a bag? Oh, you do? Yes, yes, bitch. So we went. I spent $100 on just, like, pretzels and water, you know? Perfect. Exactly what you're hoping to get.

And then we went to the Gualala supermarket across the street. The first thing I see just like people who have like Native American like neck tats, but they're like white and on meth and like wearing like. you know camouflage motorcycle racing jerseys and have no teeth this is the two sides of tj is what i'm hearing but continue two sides of tj it is i mean it literally is i mean the similarities of norcal and orange county are so specific it's just that norcal has less money i guess overall yeah like in orange county it's like middle class upper middle class and then Northern California, it's like $10 million house and have no teeth. Yeah, there's nothing in between. There's a country living and there's the beach living. But anyway, to show how crazy this was, I'm in line at the country supermarket with the bad people who are poor. They're so poor. They're so fat. And I'm surrounded by all these slack-jawed yokels, diesel-driving motherfuckers, and there's a guy who looks like Nav in there. Rapper Nav. Damn, shout out to Nav. And he's got the Nav Edgar haircut. He's wearing Stone Island. Oh, he's got the Stoney on? He's got the Stoney sweater on. I think he has some Stoney kind of like a cargo track pant kind of runner. He's dressed kind of like Drake from three years ago. And he's running around like, oh, he's trying to find the batteries. He finds the batteries. He's in line behind me. He's like, oh, man. I was trying to find his batteries. It was crazy. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I didn't know the NPC took batteries. I thought you plugged it in. Well, he's traveling. He's in the sprinter. He's going up the coast in the sprinter to just kind of see what the environment inspires his beat making. Okay. Okay. Okay. That's actually really interesting. I got to talking to him. So I buy the shit, whatever. He buys his batteries. I go out to the car and I leave. This guy, he had a wife and two kids. And they were doing the thing. I mean, this is.

unfortunate but a thing we've all seen where it's like a woman and her children holding a sign up on the sidewalk saying like hey you know any money anything you know will help out food food water whatever they had fallen on some hard times and i'm like this guy is wearing a you know a 600 sweater and they're begging for money on the sidewalk what's what's going on here and it wasn't like clearly You worked at Tesla and you were bawling and now you're homeless and begging for money on the freeway. I was like, are you guys faking it? Like, what's going on here? Yeah, that's really weird. It was odd to me. But that's just like classic C-Wrench to see an unhoused person wearing nicer clothing than myself. That's really strange. That's really, really strange. There's another weird part. I don't know if you noticed it about here, but everywhere you go. They have air purifiers and they're set up in a way that's kind of like performative. Like normally you would have an air purifier and you like want it to be like hidden away sort of or like not on display. They have these things out. But like wherever you go, it could be a store, it could be a restaurant, it could be a bar, whatever it is. Every single room has this big kind of dumb plastic thing. And also the house I'm staying at. There's one in the bathroom. There's one in the laundry room. Is it like a fire thing? Oh, maybe. Because I'm up in the woods. The air is so pure. There must be some. I'm already in the purest air in California. If it's that ubiquitous, there must be a reason for it. NorCal, Sea Ranch Junkies, sound off in the comments. Yeah, NorCal. But, I mean, have you written your next album? I mean, are you feeling just so inspired by the big trees and the clear views of the ocean and the planned community vibes? Or are you still decompressing from your stressful life as a podcaster? I would say somewhere in the middle. I mean, I'm using this trip to not. So you didn't bring a new moleskin? You're just using last month? No, no, no. I'm going inward, Chris. I'm not creating anything. So like yesterday, for example, we did a rare wake and bake. Oh. To really kind of set things off. So you woke up, you had some country coffee, you rolled a swisher, and you got to it? No, no, no.

Swisher before country coffee. Damn. Oh, so you really waked and baked. Did you bring a bowl? Don't lie. I did not bring a bowl. Smoking a bowl at Sea Ranch feels very appropriate. It does feel very appropriate, but I had the presence of mind to roll a couple doobies. Because you're not a great roller from what I've seen. I'm not. But, you know, I got the raw cones. Oh, that's cheating. Cones? No, raw cones is cheating. I know. We've gone over this a thousand times. It's bumper bowling, sure. I just want to reiterate, it's pussy shit. Continue. It is pussy shit, and I got high as a giraffe's pussy yesterday morning. Because we drove in the night before. We got in like at 8 o'clock or something. It's pitch black. The whole city is pitch black. Yeah, it's dark as fuck. There's no street lights. There's no ambient light. It's like if you've been to Sedona, you have to turn all your lights off. Don't bring up ambient. It's too early for that. So we got in and we dropped our bags off, went to bed, whatever it was. So we had no idea what the outside looked like. We had no idea where we were. All you can just see is, like, the road in front of you. If you have your brights on, you can see a tree or two. So we woke up yesterday morning. Then we got to see, like, the outside for the very first time as the sun is coming up. Oh, beautiful. So it was, like, this very kind of – it was a wonderful reveal. I'm sure, you know, whatever Adele was trying to work out with curtains up paled in comparison to what I was going through. And then we're like, you know, let's blaze up a little bit. And, you know, two little puffs for whatever reason. I was Jumanji high. I was just gone for like, I was baked for fucking like seven hours. Damn. I was swerving at night because of that. Damn, TJ really. But it was really sick, man. It was great. Yeah, getting high is cool. You don't have to tell me. And then I was so high that I was like, you know what? I'm just going to like stretch for an hour and listen to some violin and cello. Oh my God. And then you know what? I'm going to slowly build a fire out of kindling that I foraged from the woods.

And then just, like, stare at how beautiful fire is for maybe, like, five hours. This is my nightmare. I know it's your nightmare, but, you know, my life partner, she's, you know, she can get wound up sometimes just like you, a little stress, a little anxiety, whatever. Yeah, we're called earners. That's kind of. Yeah, you earners. That's what we do. You people who make the money for us, us bimbos out here. Yeah. I mean, we need you. But, like, the first day, she was just like. I'm so, like, it, like, really worked. It was, like, you know, it's hard for you guys to settle down. Hard for you guys to chill out and just vibe. Well, I'm glad to hear that. And it really worked. I'm glad to hear that. That's nice. It's healing. Yeah, I bet by the end of the day you're going to be ready to go. But, yeah, I mean, heal all you want, bro. Because Big Daddy's back in town. He's ready to crack the motherfucking whip. Okay, well, and also the tennis courts here in Sea Ranch. Beautiful. Holy shit. And I somehow because we were playing tennis yesterday on these like immaculate, pristine courts overlooking the ocean, grassy fields just could not be more ideal. Like I felt like I would, you know, and these are free public courts as well. It's not like some crazy country club or anything like that. Mind blowing. And I'm like still fucking pretty baked playing tennis. And normally when we play, it's just like me hitting the ball to her and being like. You know, she's frustrated. I'm frustrated. No one's having a great time. And, you know, I'm so high that I'm, like, explaining how to, like, hit the tennis ball differently for the first time in my life. Like, about, like, the essence and the spirit of the topspin or some fucking bullshit. And it deadass works. And it clicked. Oh. And she was like, oh, shit, I can, like, feel it now. I know how to hit a tennis ball now. And then she started, like, so she's got her spin now. YouTube bozos. It was a breakthrough. YouTube bozos high. Like, no, it's not about, like, your elbow. It's about, like, the idea of the ball. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you'll know it. I can take you to the water, but I can't make you drink it. And you'll know the feeling once you connect.

Jesus Christ. And normally it would be like, yeah, okay, pussy, whatever, shut the fuck up. But then this time it was like, by golly. It was a eureka moment. Well, it sounds like you should be high all the time and people would like you more is what it sounded like to me. You wouldn't be the first person to tell me that. I don't know. I don't know if it's true or not. That's just like a theory. So something to consider. What if TJ became a wake and bake guy? Dude, I don't know if that would work out super great. But maybe, you know, obviously it is challenging to go through life when you're woked and boked. But maybe like once a week, like every Saturday morning is awake and bake time because it really is like once a week some person might go to hot Pilates or something challenging for them where you can't do it every day. But like, all right, on Sundays I'm going to do my half marathon or I'm going to do my hot Pilates or whatever. grueling you know crossfit thing it is yeah and wake and bake even though it is like a relaxing pleasurable experience you're just like stoned and like eating fucking pancakes and watching cartoons whatever but you're it's also like a white knuckle type of high where you're like discombobulated you're out of sorts because this is like your your clear-headed morning moment and you're you're all out of whack and now suddenly you have to figure out how to do all this stuff really high, and you could learn a lot. It's really tough to shower when you're high. I agree. Do the hard work. Put in the work. It ain't easy. But as we're closing out, I did want to do some restaurant complaining, Chris. Oh, my favorite. I can't wait for you to destroy another small business. Also, I was talking yesterday about – we were listening to the podcast on the flight, and we were talking about Indochene. and my life partner let me know that Indochine is a very washed restaurant, and it is actually Vietnamese. Yeah, I'm clear on all of that, but I'm telling you, I went there, and the place was fucking packed, and it was good. Well, that was more of a correction on me, because I asked on the episode, what are some of your, oh, you like Indochine, name five Indonesian dishes or whatever.

And you said, I got the kale salad. We all had a laugh. But she was letting me know, like, oh, it's not Indonesian food. It's just Vietnamese food. Yeah. So I just wanted to let the record straight, just a classic airmail-style correction. Yeah, thank you for that. That's very important that we correct that. Do you have some restaurants to complain about yourself, Chris? No. I only went to restaurants in New York that served me well. Balthazar, Indochine, St. Ambrose, and ABCV. Chris Classics. Yeah, Chris Classics. Always deliver, baby. And that's why I don't like to try new things. Never out of style. They're always there for you. I get it. Well, I'm happy for you. What kind of experience did TJ have? Well, since it's Bay's birthday week, we were doing some dining. And there's like an A-B comparison. These are L.A. restaurants. I'll do some complaining about a restaurant here as well. Fuck it. But we went to – there's a place called Antico. Antico Nuovo. Do they sell that at Departamento? Is that owned by New Guards Group, or what is it? Who's the designer? It feels like that, doesn't it? It's mostly cashmere. All right, so obviously it's Italian, no? It's like a pasta-y, meaty kind of restaurant. The chef used to be at Quispaco, which is a restaurant I do like. But my main beef was the food was okay. It wasn't great. The pasta, there was one pasta dish that was the meat in it. It was like a sausage or orquiette kind of vibe, but it had a very like pungent head cheese kind of feet smell to it. It was off-putting. We were lacking salt and everything like that. But the price we got, we were doing a dry January. This is an A-B comparison, so the price is important. Because we went to this restaurant, Antico, and then we went to Rustic Canyon. Like a couple days later. A Santa Monica Classic. Santa Monica Classic. Just, you know, to figure out how to spend $1,000 on two meals in one week. Yeah, yeah. Now, that's the coolest thing you've ever done. Finally, something for me. I know. So we're doing the dry January. So obviously no alcohol. And that's going to make the ticket price much lower at the end of a fine dining meal, right? You would think. But sometimes, Jason, you can surprise yourself. And I feel like I'm about to be surprised right now.

So we got a $20 Caesar salad in a three-inch ring mold. It was a salad made for a child or an infant. It was good, but it was very dinky. Let me just say quickly that the kale salad at Indochine was plenty for four and also well-priced. But continue. It was a king's bounty. It was. It was. It was. Continue. I mean, the produce at this place, obviously excellent. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. The best broccolini you've ever seen in the history of Earth. Broccolini's a little bitter for me. I prefer just a classic broccoli, but continue. So we got that. We got a couple pastas. And then we got a steak to share as our main. And then we got a scoop of ice cream and a chocolate budino for dessert. Bongiorno, okay. So chocolate pudding, scoop of ice cream. A salad, two pastas and a steak, no alcohol. How much was the total bill after tax and tip? $300. $475. TJ had to split this shit on his Chase and his Apple card. He can't put this on one card. All right. So, yeah, I'm going to – yeah, I'll just – I'll give you two cards, but they're both mine, but just split it on these if you could. Damn, bro, that's actually crazy, dude. Okay, so 475, and this is a restaurant that is in this, like, area that – it's on, like, Beverly, kind of where Koreatown meets Silver Lake. It's not – It's not the nicest part of town. What's the parking situation? They have expensive valet. They have expensive valet. Okay, thank God. Was the vibe good? Was the ambiance good? Yeah, the vibe inside was good. The clientele was good. The servers were like... really good they were like older kind of career servers like professional oh i love that oh guy guy wearing a like a nice sports coat yeah you know like what knowledgeable staff people that have been in the business and i was like oh this is gonna be great this is wonderful but i think jason you're the kind of person though that price really affects

Like if that meal would have been $200, do you think you would feel different about it? I would be let down. Well, because the steak itself, it was a market price steak. Oh, we don't love to see the MP on the menu. We don't love to see the MP on the menu. We know the wallet's getting slapped when you see the MP. Of course. But the steak was like $220, I think. Bro, what? What did they do? Did they raise this cow in the Beverly Hills Hotel? They raised a cow in the Beverly Hills Hotel. How much is she? say to how much was i'm sorry 225 220 for one steak and the the problem when you do that is well there's a lot of problems but the main problem is when you do a market price steak for 220 and it's just a steak it's not like here's the steak and it comes with all these sides and fixings and truffle sauce and of course or you know bernays fucking caviar shit it was just like here's a steak so the steak itself has to be you know orgasmically perfect you can't you can't cook it incorrectly you can't be a little over what was the what was the marbling like you think on this i mean it was okay i mean it was it was probably a dry-aged steak so it had a little funk to it which is good and it was it was cooked they didn't ask how i wanted it cooked so i assumed it was like we cook it our special way and that's it which is fine because I trusted him as a meat man, but it was a little overcooked, and you can't say anything. It's like, hey, can I get a new steak? I know this costs $220, but you guys are a little over. You can't uncook a steak, so it's already dead in the water. But then because it's like a hipstery restaurant where everyone has to brag and show off, they put some sauce on it. I don't like where this is going. That we don't want. I just want a steak with butter and salt. Maybe some rosemary, garlic, you know, normal shit so I can taste the steak. But this had some kind of, like, anchovy, Alison Roman shit on there with, like, you know, a white person XO sauce. And I was like, now I'm eating a $220 steak that tastes like anchovies and it's a little over. And it left a bad taste in my mouth. I was pissed. But then we went to Rustic Canyon and literally spent half that amount of money.

seven course meal, wine. They gave us a glass of champagne at the beginning of a meal because it was our birthday. So nice. Everyone is cool. half the price and it's in santa monica in like an expensive neighborhood a nice area classic california cuisine jason can't be that's the reality and it's true it really it's it's really true that that's the that's the only reason to live here besides when the sun is out like today is is the fresh produce when it's used properly it's it's truly an art form that's what rustic does brother like here's a salad it's it's some lettuce that we got down the street at the farmer's market some shallots that were grown with care and some You know, oil and vinegar. And you're like, this is the best salad I've ever tasted in my life. I don't know what the fuck you guys did. But it's all about the ratios with the vinegar. You know that, Chris. I do. I'm a big ratio guy. You've been ratioed a few times. Exactly. That's what I was about to say. I've been the victim of this and the benefactor of this. So I understand both. I see both sides. So in closing, Antico, don't go there. It's too expensive. Even if you're rich, it's not worth it. And just give an old classic Rustic Canyon. a second second glance that's that's great i i think we'll take it from tj i've been there once or twice in my life but it's been years and years we'll we'll go we'll go soon um we'll take uh we'll take the the hens out for a nice night in santa monica you know maybe have a little coffee and go down check out the seagulls down by the water once i once i finally sell a script santa monica you know will feel different oh yeah It feels foreign to me now because I'm a Hollywood outsider, but luckily we're making moves to rectify that. Fellas, if you ever see me living in Santa Monica, just look the other way. Those aren't mad happy sweats I'm wearing. If you see me wearing mad happy, you didn't see me. You know what I'm saying? Oh, TJ.

Excellent to hear from you. I feel like we've done two Sundays in a row not together, and I've got to say I'm going through withdrawals a little bit, so I can't wait to be reunited. We'll be reunited, Chris. Don't worry. We'll be in the lab. It'll be fine. And I also miss that because that means I now have to spend the next number of hours editing this conversation versus IRL. But that's okay. No, I know. Okay. I know. That's well, at least. Nothing a little, uh, nothing a little wake and vacate, huh? I was about to say, Jason's about to get fucking, he's having cookies for breakfast. I'm about to take off and go to Mars. All right, Pluto. She's going to be like, what's, uh, what's for breakfast? I'm getting a little hungry. I'm like, bitch, it's. It's gelato. All right. How long gone? We're back all week with more podcasts and more podcasts, more exotic strains, more exotic strains. That's that's what we do here. If you if you missed the Joe Ellison episode last week, I implore you to listen to it. She was great. A lot of good feedback on that. We talk about piss as well as Alexa. I mean, two of my favorite topics for sure. My food groups. No mention of Alex Turner. Thanks. Thank God. OK, let's go. How long gone, Jason? Enjoy the rest of your trip, and I'll see you when you return to the greater Los Angeles area. Bye-bye. Bye.